ijustneedtogetaway.

MY STOMACH HURTS AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS NEGATIVE THINGS.

i feel like there's a LOT of twofaced people around me;
- people who say things && stop talking about them when you come around
- just bitches who don't know a good friend from a bad one
- etc etc etc.

my back hurts, i'm aching, && my uterus is falling.
* yes, it's that time. && i'm feeling really shitty. hormones or not, nothing seems to be going right.
it feels like nothing anybody says is positive - i only look at the negative && take that to the heart.
nobody seems to care anymore, so i just won't tell them shit && let them wonder what is wrong with me. it's not like anybody notices anyway because they're too busy worrying about their damn selves.

i'm so happy the year is ending. i need a break from everything && everybody. i just need time to think.
because if i don't get myself straight, i'm gonna lose a lot of good friends. so i'll just get my mindset correct before i try to help anyone else out.

i'm in a situation.

why don't you just do it ?

because i'm not you;
i need to work at my own pace && speed, so stop fucking rushing me. obviously i can't go to anybody to talk. how come when i wanna talk about my problems it's not a big fucking deal ? that's exactly why i fucking hate people && i am going to go back to being an introvert again.
don't tell me to fucking suck it up. even though you don't say those exact things, that's what the message is.

you people [yes, i said you people] think everything is good && gravy, but you have no idea what goes on behind the scenes.
ooooo, if you knew . . if only you knew.
but you dont.
because, once again, i can't tell people shit because the whole human race is full of idiots who only seem to worry && care about themselves.

*word of advice; you should really think about the things you say before you say them.

- a lot of things people say lately bother me, but i don't say anything. we already have enough drama, so i figure, why start anymore. but i'm tired of letting the little things slide, because obviously it's built up into this huge ball && now i'm just pissed the hell off. about nothing at all.

well, it's actually something && everything, at that.

i've been trying for the longest time to shrug it off like it's nothing.
i say it doesn't bother me but it does.
i wish i didn't care but i do.
i hate that i care because it makes me feel like shit.
feeling like shit only makes things worse because i dont know what to do.
when i dont know what to do, i'd like to talk to somebody who does know what to do.
but i've lost even that option . .

so what do i turn to now ?