all of the things i should have said. [poem]

i wrote this poem a LONGG time ago, but it really explains how i'm feeling as of lately, ironicly.
it could use some work && editing, but it speaks my mind perfectly.

Hey, you.
I can't believe I'm really writing this right now.
I told myself you wouldn't care, but somehow
I just ended up sitting here. Only able to see your face.
And just in case you're still wondering, there's
Nobody in the world who could ever replace you.
But I doubt that you even care now.
I don't know why I care.
Because things were going great before she was there,
So is it her? Is she the reason for this all?
Is she the reason why lately you haven't returned my calls?

No? You say it's just me.
But I'm failing to see, exactly how that could be,
But it doesn't matter now.
I think now I'm wasting my time.
But just in case you're still reading, I'll just keep writing what's on my mind.

It's funny because when I think of you I'd
Rather remember how it use to be rather than how it is.
Things use to be so great.
I'm still trying to figure out what happened
To us.
To me and you.
To what we use to be
To what we could be, should be, and would be.
If only we'd done it.
Just come right out and said it.
But I guess it's too late now.
It seems like it's always too late.

You know, it's funny how all of this is just pouring out of me.
I've been holding it in for so long
So long that I could no longer go on,
Without you knowing.

Remember when I told you I hated you?
Well, I lied.
I was just mad that instead of me
You were standing by her side.
And that hurt.
It hurt like hell.
But I guess you couldn't tell
Because I tried not to show
How much I really cared.

And the thing that I've come
To realize is that
I never disliked all of those girls who were your friends.
It was always how close they seemed to you.
But in the end
It doesn't matter.

And you know all those other guys
You know, the ones you always hated?
Well I never put them before you.
You've always been number one.
But as time went on
I soon came to realize
How they affected you.
And even though I did nothing wrong
This apology is true;
I'm sorry.
For making you feel like you didn't measure up.
I'm sorry.
For making you think it was all your fault.
I'm sorry.
For all of these things and more.
But what's done is done
Though these things should have
Been said long ago.

Remember how I told you I didn't love you?
I lied
Remember when I told you I couldn't be with you?
He wasn't the reason why.
And sometimes I feel
Like we could've had something real
And when people come around
Thinking we're together
The hurt only grows.

But I guess, as I've said one too many times,
It doesn't matter anymore.
It seems that I've lost your heart for sure.
For good maybe.
I hope you know that this letter
Isn't anything to persuade you
Entertain you
Or to claim you
But just to inform you.
Because the fact still remains
That this thing has come to an end.
Wish we could start over
Go back to the beginning.
But we both know we can't
So this is my letter
To you
Of all of the things I should have said.