itsbeenaminute.

since i've really blogged.
i have more stuff coming.
promise.
lot's of drafts typed up that i never felt like i needed to share with the world.
and more in the process.

shit's changing lately . . trust and believe you all will be hearing about that.
but ta ta for now . .

sorry.

FOR ANYONE

who has been put into compromising positions in either friendships, relationships, and any other personal problems. but most of all, for MYSELF.

i'm sorry that i can't be you picture perfect girl; i am not the epitome of perfection, nor will i ever be. i'm sorry that i can't be happy when you want me to be; as much as i try, my smiles will never be big enough to cover what's lying inside. im sorry that it's always my fault; try as i might, my best will never be good enough for you. i'm sorry that i'm a total bitch; my mood swings may come out of the blue, but sometimes they are necessary. i'm sorry for all of the times i seem "needy"; sometimes all i need is someone to listen to me. i'm sorry that i was never good enough; i strive to see why i can't be your everything, but i have not yet come to a conclusion. i'm sorry that i'm not like her; in my mind i will always be, but to you i NEVER WAS. i'm sorry that i can't get through to you; i really want you to see what i do, but i'm afraid it's too late.
i'm sorry for the times that i become "annoying"; i only want you to want me as much as i need you. i'm sorry for all of the things that i could never be to you; but the thing i'm sorry the most for is being sorry at all.

doingtoomuch.

haven't blogged in a minute.

the last blog i made didn't go through well from my phone, so i'll summarize that.



pretty much, i went to the America's Most Wanted Tour.
it was hype, no thanks to young jeezy *no disrespect, but i just don't bang with his music on the regular.
and uhhh, the PERSON I PAID SIXTY DOLLARS TO SEE failed to enter the building due to a torn ACl. yes, i am talking about Drake. boo hoo, i'll catch him next time i guess.


so i have come to the sad conclusion that i think way too much. i mean, thinking is good. but at times, like now, i overanalyze things . .

i came across this quote today on my friend Jessie's myspace:

Don't make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.

so i'm sitting here like . . DAMN. that's so true and applies to me right now . .

*NOTE;this applies to more than it seems.
so i've decided that all of you worthless priorities will soon become options because i realize now that that's all i am and will ever be to you.
i hate getting my hopes up, saying to myself this is the day, when really it's just like every other pointless day i spend waiting on you.
i kept my hopes up telling myself that it WOULD be sooner than later and that i didn't need no one else, but it's obvious that i was on some other shit when i said that.
don't get me wrong, i'm not saying goodbye, you are the weakest link . .
but i AM saying that i aint a doll and this aint a dollhouse. i won't ALWAYS be here like a barbie when you actually WANT to play.



so i will leave you with this. [fast forward to 1:00]

"i aint a doll; i'll never be made of plastic. so glad that my heart's elastic . . "