icantwaittohateyou.

"i'm gonna cut your dick off and send it to her in the mail."

funniest thing i've said today - no lie. lol and i was serious too.

well, i haven't blogged in a minute but i have a lot on my mind now so . .

i just don't care anymore. and i am so serious when i say that.
i don't know if this is the right thing to do, but i'm done. i have never in life let myself be so vulnerable . . never. and the people that know me the best know that i HATE being vulnerable . . so i never put myself into vulnerable situations. but this time . . it was different.

or so i thought.

eh, it's whatever. as Kelly would say, "i refuse to be concerned." but the fact of the matter is that i am concerned, and as much as you guys tell me not to be . . i just am.
*speaking of you guys, i need to thank you. like seriously.

• torrie, firstly and foremost; you were there when i needed you . . the first one i turned to. i love you.
• hollie; wowww, i've never talked to you so deeply about anything. i realize now that you are a good friend. always there when needed (:
• shamia; you are kinda triff lol . . but still. thank you.
• alexis; omgggg. chick, you are one of the best friends i could ask for. you have helped me through a lot recently. i love you.
• jae; ahahahaha, you are too funny. but i think you were right . . about what you said today. thank you.
• jessie; you're never too far away to hear me out. i love you. (:

i have more to say, but i refuse to say it to everyone on blogger. this shit is ridiculous. i will NEVER let myself feel this again. even if that means shutting down anyone who threatens to take my heart . . i'm not the mushy lovey dovey type . . but that's some real ish from the heart.

lovers&&friends ?

so im just sittin back, listening to Closer by Drake && Andreena Mills.
i swear he's the realest.
for those of you that JUST hopped onto his stuff, you're not a true fan of him until you've heard his old stuff, because it's just as good [if not better] than his most recent.

so i've been hit with sum hard news lately . . nothing i really wish to discuss with the world. but let's just say hopefully this will overcome us all, because if it doesn't then . . i dont kno . . but it's like;
why do bad things happen to GREAT people ? i mean, really tho . . she doesn't deserve this . . she's great to everyone around her, does everything she possibly could for EVERYBODY. this truly SUCKS.

anywhooo. i meant to blog on this a long time ago . . but there's a lot of things i wanna blog about that i haven't . .
soo, FRIENDS; guy/girl friendships to be specific.
can a guy && a girl ever JUST be friends ? that meaning without one or the other ever catching feelings.
my answer to this ? is vague.
umm, i suppose this can be possible, but chances are if they aren't emotionally connected in that way, the girl will start to notice how right the guy looks in one of his brand new polos, or the guy will start wondering what's beneath the threads of her jeans or sum mess like that.
that's just natural; to wonder what sumone of the opposite sex is like . . idk, physically ?

but then there's the scenario where one starts catching feelings for the other . .
now me, personally, i wouldn't want to risk a GREAT friendship for a relationship that might not even last. bc there's a pretty good chance that in the course of that relationship or even after that shortlived relationship ends, the way you felt for each other as FRIENDS will die too . . && thinking about sum of the good friendships i've had with sum of my guyfriends . . i doubt i'd want to risk that.
they say that friends make for the best relationships . . && that makes sense, seeing that you need to KNOW a person before getting into a relationship . . then there's the issue of trust, && with a friend, you should already have that. so it'd be perfect.

i could talk about this more . . throwing in personal stuff . . but i'd rather not.
i'm REALLY tired, so i'm probably gonna take a shower && get in the bed after this.
hope yall have a good weekend (: