lovelost.

WHY

are we saying goodbye before we say hi
dying without trying
falling without reason

i'm stalling.
but that's only because this fear in my heart
is too strong to let me move on
to that next step.

and i'm scared.
that we are crashing and burning
and i'm slowly learning
that nothing is ever easy in
love.

i'm nervous.
to find what's behind
the you that i have always known.

the you that i love.
that i've always put above . . .

until now.

i blame this on myself
and nobody else
will ever replace you.

but i should have been thinking when i was wishfully making
that decision.
i should have been trying before we started dying,
but i wasn't.

and it hurts me to say
that the day that we may
end is approaching . . .

or maybe not the end
but just the "begin"
of a very sad process.

and i don't know what to do.
i love you . .
i love you . .
i do.

and it hurts.

not even the tears . . .
not even the people around me . . .
not even myself . . .
understands any of this.

and i hate to say
that i'm slowly starting to
accept this.

but i can't.
and i won't.
because you're my hope,
my joy,
my love.

and i can't lose you.